"And as we descended, cries of
impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, nay a million
voices full of fear. And terror possesed me then. And I begged,
"Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?" And the angel
said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the
carrots! "
-undertow
"Beware of the evil daemons of the sacred land, Gaa'nah. Show them one glass of tap water, and they shall run against you from their quiet caves, they shall shove keyboards down your throat, they shall rip of your arms and play golf with them, and they shall take your hair and color it pink. Indeed, young apprentice, the evil daemons of Gaa'nah are to be feared by all mortals, for they are the incarnate of all evils!"
-SoulTaker
undertow: Something confusing about your quote... there's only five quote marks in there, so one of them either isn't being opened or closed... and if that's dialogue in there, shouldn't that be with an apostrophe, not a quote mark? =)
Anyways, tell me if this is right:
"And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear. And terror possesed me then. And I begged, 'Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?' And the angel said unto me, 'These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!'"
Oh, and when giving quotes, you'll have to tell me if their original of if someone else said them. If they aren't original, then I'd want to know who said it, cause you aren't getting credit for someone else's quote hehehe
1) Yeah, you got it right, I had just copy-pasted that into the postbox. I do see a typo, though, "possesed" should be "possessed".. my bad..
2) It's from a "song" called Disgustipated off of Tool's undertow album. So just attribute it to Tool.
-undertow
[This message has been edited by undertow (edited 03-31-2000).]
Hrm, I might have some quotes for ya. I just need to think a little and remember some other good ones before I subit them, hehe.
SM_007
Hmm, what about SoulTaker's quote? Did he write that or has someone heard that somewhere before? (Just wondering, because I don't know how often he checks here seeing as he's out of the country)
Oh, and I'm starting to add quotes to the script now =)
"The quote I wrote above is my own personal creation, created to show my anger to the spirits trying to incinerate my mortal body"
-SoulTaker
BTW, I check the forum once or twice per day.
Here some stuff that frequently comes to mind:
"Me = Bored" - Edge (anyone who knows me should know that I say this frequently)
"'Steal the Bacon'? I thought it was 'Spank the Bacon'" - Bladimir Cepeda (he's my friend. he said this yesterday while we were playing "You Don't Know Jack" and this question popped up. I almost pissed in my pants).
"I don't have pet peeves; I have major psychotic fucking hatreds." - George Carlin
When I think of some more, they'll go up. 
As of right now all quotes on this thread have been added to the script =)
Oh yeah...all those quotes up there from George Carlin are courtesy of me.
If you're curious, they're all from his album "You Are All Diseased" (which was also an HBO special a couple years ago). The entire album is hilarious. All he does is rant about stuff that pissed him off. And a lot of stuff pisses him off. You name it...kids, religion, men, parents, TV...he puts a little bit of everything into it. I highly recommend getting this album.
Pretty much any George Carlin album is great, but this one is one of the best.
Quotes are good.
"New York Metropolitan Transportation Authority: When you don't give a shit about your appointments"
-SoulTaker
"My girlfriend and I were happy for 14 years. Then we met"
-SoulTaker
"I think, therefore I am overqualified"
-SoulTaker
"You're just mad at because you spent all those years at clown college." - Sideshow Bob
"I'll thank you not to refer to Harvard that way." - Cecil
Akardam Out
All of the above have been added =)
hehe, no more? There's only 14 in the script right now =)
[Agent911] shhh...I know Im full of shit
[Lady_Rose] i cant see my own text!!!!
[IN@Maynard] unignore urself u stupid girl
[Venus] one of the first times I went to terry's house I threw him... I dunno if he was more impressed or scared
[Venus] he was all "so what are you going to do to stop me?"
[Venus] so I threw him
[IN^LameKing] sicko...
[INjiMMu] no shit man
[INjiMMu] you didn't think that was ME with your mom did you?
------------------
Maverick
Webmaster Of The Blizzard Extreme Network
http://www.blizzx.net
Hmm, I dunno, those are "different" to say the least =)
What's everyone else think about them? (Gotta remember, you'll be the ones staring at them on the top of the forum hehe)
They were just three from a whole Kali Chat Log I had, just this week
and wtf happened. How did this thread get above mine? It was on bottom...
*threads move around randomly...scary*
[the conspiracy continues]
------------------
Maverick
Webmaster Of The Blizzard Extreme Network
http://www.blizzx.net
I dunno, putting entire conversations up there would be kinda space consuming if the line breaks are included, and confusing to read if the line breaks aren't included.
Of course I browse here at 90% zoom, so space isn't an issue for me.
When you reply to a thread it jumps back up to the top of the list.
Ahhhh, I see. Thats cool
------------------
Maverick
Webmaster Of The Blizzard Extreme Network
http://www.blizzx.net
"A social life? Where can I download that?"
-SoulTaker
[This message has been edited by SoulTaker (edited 04-03-2000).]
[This message has been edited by SoulTaker (edited 04-03-2000).]
"Being healthy is only a slower way to die." -PeEpeRs
"Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid"
-SoulTaker
"Even paranoids have enemies" - Tom Clancy
-undertow http://undertow.8m.com
"Me llamo."
-PeEpeRs
[This message has been edited by PeEpeRs (edited 04-03-2000).]
"I hope that an animal never drills a hole in my head and lays its eggs because when I get a good idea, it is probably just the eggs hatching."
-Jack Handy
"You're a true failure if you can't even commit suicide."
-PeEpeRs
"That rainbow song's no good. Take it out."
- MGM memo after first showing of The Wizard Of Oz.
True quote
"You'd better learn secretarial skills or else get married."
- Modelling agency, rejecting Marilyn Monroe in 1944.
another true quote
"Everything worthwhile has already been invented."
- director of the US Patent Office, 1899.
yet another true one
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." -Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
hehe most of these are true quotes
"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing." - Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series
hell all of these are true quotes
"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago" -Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut. -Albert Einstein
"I dont have any more quotes"
-lil bo shepherd
p.s. in case ur wondering i put this quote here cuz i was editing something else that doesnt make any sense. Hmmmm...
[This message has been edited by lil bo shepherd (edited 04-03-2000).]
As of now, all of the quotes on this thread have been added to the script, which brings it to a total of 27 quotes. The only exception is:
"I dont have any more quotes" - lil bo shepherd
Were you serious about that one? It's hard to tell from the post hehe
No matter if it was serious or not, I think it should be included =)
"As I said before, I never repeat myself."
-SoulTaker
[This message has been edited by SoulTaker (edited 04-04-2000).]
"Teamwork is vital. It gives you someone to blame."
-SoulTaker
[This message has been edited by SoulTaker (edited 04-04-2000).]
"I'm having an out-of-money experience."
-SoulTaker
[This message has been edited by SoulTaker (edited 04-04-2000).]
"No sense in being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway."
-SoulTaker
[This message has been edited by SoulTaker (edited 04-04-2000).]
Script updated again with all of the above, including lil bo shepherd's quote. There are now 32 quotes =)
"Shampoo? No thanks, I'll use real poo."
-SoulTaker
"Death is not that common in foolball."
-Sky News reporter, on the death of a foolball fan.
[This message has been edited by SoulTaker (edited 04-06-2000).]
[This message has been edited by SoulTaker (edited 04-06-2000).]
"Keep Americal beautiful... Emigrate."
-SoulTaker
"He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke."
-SoulTaker
Updated: 36 quotes
By some reason, I misspelled "football" in the quote above. Ironically, I misspelled it as "fool-ball" =)
In any case the proper quote is:
"Death is not that common in football."
-Sky News Reporter, on the death of a football fan
LOL, I didn't even notice it, it's fixed now though =)
"I can't Believe I Ate The Whole Thing" - Homer Simpson
Has anyone taken that yet?
"Do or Do not, there is no try" - Yoda
That has to be taken, is it? hehe
"Ahh the land of chocolate" - Homer Simpson
"Curtis I think I shit my pants!"
hehehe that curtis one is from real life but I won't say who said it
"Buckle up Bitch"
"When she said she'd let me give her a 9 inch hard drive I thought she was talking about sex" - Crimson
"And then when she said she wanted a 3 1/2 inch floppy I went to get my brother" - Crimson
I'm not going to use "Buckle up Bitch" and "Curtis I think I shit my pants!" because I dunno, I didn't really find them to be that great hehe... also, the last two are going to be displayed at the same time, because the second one wouldn't make sense alone. I should be updating the script witht them sometime soon.
"She told me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt, so i fucked her 3 times and punched her in the mouth."
-PeEpeRs
[This message has been edited by PeEpeRs (edited 04-09-2000).]
I think I'll add some Ace Ventura and Spaceballs quotes when I think some good ones up =)
"Ludicrous speed! Go!"
New quotes, thanks to online movie scripts that I got them from (for accuracy):
"Ludicrous speed! Go!" - Dark Helmet, Spaceballs
"What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz, chicken?" - Dark Helmet, Spaceballs
"How many Assholes we got on this ship, anyhow?" - Dark Helmet, Spaceballs
"On a sadder note, Pizza the Hut (famed half-man, half-pizza) was found dead earlier today in the back seat of his
stretched limo. Evidently, the notorious gangster became locked in his car, and ate himself to death." - Spaceballs
"Why didn't somebody tell me ass was so big?" - President Skroob, Spaceballs
"Careful, you idiot. I said across her nose, not up it." - Dark Helmet, Spaceballs
"Jammed? Raspberry. There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry. Lone Starr!" - Dark Helmet, Spaceballs
"Hi, I'm looking for Ray Finkle. And a clean pair of shorts." - Ace Ventura
"Venturaaaaa?" "Yes, Satan? Oh, I'm sorry, sir. You sounded like someone else." - Ace Ventura
Another, thanks to SM_007:
"Spaceballs?" "Oh shit, there goes the planet." - Two Apes, Spaceballs
That's also the 50th quote =)
"Jungle law: Eat or be eaten...hmmmm..." - Eye of the Night
"I'm alive...I think" - The King
(Lastly, my own
------------------
Be all that you can be, reach all you can; you can be no more.
Updated, that makes 53 =)
Beware, "Headlines" are on the Tonight Show tonight, I should pick up some good stuff there =)
Newly added:
"You know how bad of a hit the stock market took? The richest man in the world is now M.C. Hammer!" - Jay Leno, The Tonight Show
"Janet Reno gets confused - sends Evian to Cuba" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
"Poop pellets could pass for party snacks" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
"1 ten month old jackass for sale, named Al Gore" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
"Free jelly beans with any purchase of Collgate toothpaste" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
"Mike Hosty plays with himself Tues. 25" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
From SL-27 while talking in channel Riptide on Battle.net:
"In the year 2000, Ballpark hotdogs will no longer plump when you cook them. Instead they will spit at you and call you a whore!" - Conan O'Brien
"I don't know what your problems is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce"
"If pro is the opposite of con, then what's the opposite of progress?"
"No ossifer, there'ss no blood in my alchoholll"
"When the officer told me my eyes were red and asked me if I'd been drinking, I told him his eyes looked glazed and asked if he'd been eating donuts."
Added =)
That makes 68 quotes now =)
"En Taro Adun, Noble Qui Gon, I am Jar Jar Binks, I owe you a debt of Gratitude for recovering me from the Brink of Oblivion. I would suggest that we take refuge among the fortifications of Gunga city, but I fear that my bretheren have banished me for my lack of bodily dexterity"- Jar Jar Binks
"Watching a TLC Video is one thing, seeing these Gray birds verbally castrate a man is another" Rear Admiral Gerard DuGalle
"There appears to be a Large vortex in close proximity to Aiur, though it emits no subspace vibrations it is spewing fourth a Methane nebula"-Adjutant
"I will bring the Terran Dominion to it's Knees" UED president steering attention away from a recent sex scandal
Added =)
(We're at 72 now)
"So you call my mom a slut, a skank, and a hoe. You forget tramp.
That your quote? (Needs a name hehe)
"To die, to sleep, perchance to zzzzzz..." - Eye of the Night
(hehehe...deep one)
------------------
Be all that you can be, reach all you can; you can be no more.
Updated with both Striker's and Eye of the Night's quotes, that makes 74 total.
Increasing the total to 76:
"When I was your age, I [Elian Gonzalez] had to swim 90 miles to school!" - Jay Leno, The Tonight Show
"Studies show that teenage girls that drink are more likely to be sexually active. Apparently this study was funded by teenage boys." - Jay Leno, The Tonight Show
“A human being is part of the whole, called by us the universe. A part
limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and
feelings, as something separate from the rest, a kind of optical
delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for
us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few
persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this
prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living
creatures.”-Albert Einstein
------------------
Be all that you can be, reach all you can; you can be no more.
Added =)
"I must have made the acquaintance of Satan and Shylock at about the same time, for the two characters were long associated
in my mind. I remember that I was sorry for them. I felt vaguely that they could not be good even if they wished to, because no
one seemed willing to help them or to give them a fair chance. Even now I cannot find it in my heart to condemn them\ utterly.
There are moments that I feel that the Shylocks, the Judases, and even the Devil, are broken spokes in the great wheel of good
which shall in due time be made whole." (Helen Keller, _The Story of My Life_)
------------------
Be all that you can be, reach all you can; you can be no more.
"I spell it wrong cause I can"
-Tyrant
Hmm, Eye of the Night, that one's a bit too long, it'd take up a lot of space on the top of the forum, so I don't want to use it for that reason =(
Tyrant's quote has been added though =)
Bloobedy, Bloobedy, Bloobedy, Bloobedy ...
Is that a quote?
"i kant spel" - me
"hte zurj si teh nemay ov teh bettlcrsr!" -TerinUnit
------------------
kwerkey
"Reality sucks, welcome to insanity
hehe those last two were both added, now there's 80 quotes
"Excuse me, are you aware your wearing my pants?" - WizardSlayer
"Damn ferrets, Damn cats, Damn Animals" - WizardSlayer
"Bloobedy!" - WizardSlayer
"WARNING: Extreme coolness is imperitive, buckle up." - WizDom
That other one wasn't a quote. That was a product of boredem. =)
------------------
~WizardSlayer
WizDom Webmaster
"Damn Ferrets, Damn Cats, Damn Animals"
Updated, now there's 84 =)
It isn't that long, is it? (With spaces and returns righted)
"I lie" - liar
------------------
Be all that you can be, reach all you can; you can be no more.
Yeah, I tried it out and it's still pretty long =(
The newest one has been added and there's 85 now =)
"Harness your stupidity!" -Kryten, Red Dwarf
------------------
kwerkey
"Reality sucks, welcome to insanity
Now there's 87, I added another one myself =)
"Harness your stupidity!" - Kryten, Red Dwarf
"Smeghead!" - Red Dwarf
Also just added:
"You want that doo doo so bad, you can taste it!" - Ace Ventura
Newly added from My Name Is:
"I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast" - My Name Is, Eminem
"I just found out my mom does more dope than I do" - My Name Is, Eminem
(Now there's 90 quotes)
These are all subtitles from Japanese movies, translated into English:
"I threat you! I challenge you meet me on the roof tonight for a duet!"
"I will kill you until you are dead from it!"
"The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?"
"I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!"
"I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way."
"Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep."
"I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!"
"You are too useless. And now I must beat you."
"Gun wounds again?"
"A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries."
"You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous ricechicken."
"Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants."
"Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected."
"Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?"
"Quiet or I'll blow your throat up."
"You daring lousy guy."
"Beat him out of recognizable shape!"
"How can you use my intestines as a gift?"
"Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!"
------------------
kwerkey
"Reality sucks, welcome to insanity"
All added, that makes 110 quotes now =)
Got to love the so called "Translators."
Added, as suggested by Striker:
"I lay awake and strap myself in the bed. Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head." - My Name Is, Eminem
"An IQ of 6000 isn't that much, it's only the same as 12,000 PE teachers" -Holly, Red Dwarf
P.S. I'm getting worried that this thread is going to break, same as the TestZ thread.
------------------
kwerkey
"Reality sucks, welcome to insanity"
Added =)
I doubt the thread will break since it was made with the newer version of the script though.
"Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"
"It's just a flesh wound"
"Come here! I'll bite your legs off!"
All form Monthy Python and the holy grail
------------------
Be all that you can be, reach all you can; you can be no more.
Updated, that makes 115 =)
I picked these up while watching Family Guy tonight:
"Is this really the blood of Christ? Man, that guy must have been wasted 24 hours a day!" - Peter, Family Guy
"It's not so much that I want to kill her, it's that I don't want her to be alive anymore." - Stewie, Family Guy
to get the 100th post on this thread
"Violence in video games? Sounds like a plan!" - me
added =)
hehe just heard this one on tv =)
"If I was the last man on earth, you think I'd be talking to you?" - Ryan, Unhappily Ever After
Just added Gunslinger's quote, which he used in another post:
"The Man in Black fled across the desert, and The Gunslinger followed." - Gunslinger
this one may cause some feedback, but here goes
"I am better than you all" -lil bo shepherd
Yeah, I dunno how I'd feel about posting lies on the forum hehehe
ha...ha....ha......
What.. You dont think im better than you?
name something that your better than me at!!!
*besides being sexy*
=)
I dunno, stuff =)
*sigh*
I've got a QUOTE!
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx
The below were added:
"Suck me beautiful" - American Pie
"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." - Mark Twain
"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made." - Groucho Marx
Smiley!
=)
Added:
"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce
There are now 127 quotes in the script =)
Added:
"The best way to predict your future is to create it." - Unknown
Eye of the Night's quote from Hellen Keller that I said was too long earlier has been added now that I'm using a slightly different way to display the quotes. Now I'm using a percentage of the screen instead of a fixed amount, which will result in more of the space at the top being used =)
(I'm thinking 90% right now, just smaller than the 95% that the tables on the rest of the forum layout use)
Yay!
"This is not a quote" -?-
What's that question mark for? =)
"The colour of my name is the colour of anarchy, the colour of free thought and expression. The colour of my name is the colour of my enemy's blood, it incites fear in my fellow man. The colour of my name is, Red"
That's what i put for my blood omen quote page (the guild i joined after stefan quit) i think it'd kinda cool. when your name is red in UO it means your a PK
it's ok to laugh if you want... hehe
The questionmark adds a bit of mysticism, and is just related to the type of quote...some more of the type:
"Quote" -?-
"This is only an illusion" -?-
"You'll never read this, nor did you ever. You only do" -?-
Add 'm...
------------------
Be all that you can be, reach all you can; you can be no more.
"A Dutchman's Double Dutch is Triple Dutch to any other, yet plain to the Dutch" -?-
------------------
Be all that you can be, reach all you can; you can be no more.
All of the above were added, in addition to this one:
"I am not here on a fartball scholarship" - Bart writing on the chalkboard, The Simpsons
That makes 136 total if anyone's wondering =)
"I will not use abbrevs."
"This is not a clue. Or is it...."
Both are Bart on the chalkboard.
------------------
kwerkey
"Reality sucks, welcome to insanity"
added =)
Here's some more fun quotes from the Tonight Show:
"Stool softener can help remove ear wax buildup" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
"Buy one booger get one free" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
"Assorted microwave Pop Secret Bleach" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
"Will a sunscreen protect against nuclear radiation?" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
"Who played the part of E.T. or was it an alien?" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
"What do you think about Gum Control?" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
"Ranked #1 for the first consecutive year!" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
"Lewinsky gets back on her feet" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
That makes the total 146 =)
"Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids... eat them!" - Homer, The Simpsons
=)
"Feel the eroticism" - Ravage!
=)
"AAAHH!! SPACE MONKEYS!! MYBRAINMYBRAINMYBR--- *slump*" - me
-ut
[This message has been edited by undertow (edited 05-05-2000).]
Added =)
This one's for the pants guy..
"Worldwide Pants" - the name of David Letterman's production company
-u
That was quote #150 =)
"151" -?-
added =)
hehehe, this is from Dr. Nick (why did I say Albright?) on the Simpsons while operating on Homer:
"The knee bone's connected to the..somthing.
The something's connected to the..red thing.
The red thing's connected to my wristwatch....uh-oh"
------------------
kwerkey
"Reality sucks, welcome to insanity"
[This message has been edited by kwerkey (edited 05-05-2000).]
erm, don't you mean "Dr. Nick Riviera" ..? I'm pretty sure that's what the guy's name is..
Yeah. I don't know why I said Albright. But I changed it anyway.
------------------
kwerkey
"Reality sucks, welcome to insanity"
I did a net search on Albright, apparently that's the name of the Sunday school teacher on the Simpsons. (Also, added the quote)
"It's eleven o'clock, do you know where your children are?" "I told you last night, NO!" - Homer watching tv, The Simpsons
"Your request is not unlike your lower intestine, stinky and loaded with danger." - Ace Ventura
Ah, the almighty monkey goblins. Set phasers to change sex!
You have been quoted, have a nice day.
Well, we're looking at the first five page post here =)
Yay!
"No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!" - The spanish inquisition.
added =)
"I hope you at least buy her dinner before you Clinton all over her dress." - Mimi, The Drew Carey Show
"Chandler, did your dad ever hug you?" "No, did he hug you?!" Paul (Bruce Willis) and Chandler, Friends
"Nothing will make me leave here without my boy!"
"Mr. Smithers, bring out the robotic Richard Simmons!"
"Ahhhh!! Run!!"
It'll be added as soon as I finish downloading a few files off the server =)
"Need an extra hand over there?" - American Pie
Well, it's time to take my feet off!
added =)
Minime, you complete me!
(I have a minime at my school... I swear)
(Well, its a minime minime, not a minime of Dr. Evil. MMMMMMMKAY?)
Everything is nothing, yet nothing is everything. Although, sometimes there is something in nothing, or nothing in everything.
"Money for nothing and chicks for free!" - Dire Straights
One of my favorite things... heh =]
added =)
"The name's Nova, Cassanova." - American Pie
"Whats my name? Say my name bitch!" - American pie
"I like my wine aged 18 years" - American Pie
*added*
*goes to sleep*
"Tasty." - forum eater
added =)
"On the road of life there are passengers and there are drivers." - VW Commercial
"Life is like taking a shit...ya never know what ur gonna get." - PeEpeRs
"Its not my fault that all of the computers in the north side of school crashed!!!" - PeEpeRs
"I wanna be a teacher when i grow up...that way i can make stupid ass teacher jokes and annoy the hell out of everyone." - PeEpeRs
"Sherman's having relations." - Old Bag Grandma, Nutty Professor
Updated again. There are now 179 quotes.
"Meet people from all the over world, then kill them." - Subspace
"Got Milk?" - Got Milk people.
"Wheres the any key?" - Homer Simpson
"Where have all the cookies gone?" - Cookies n cream thing commercial
"MeeK" - me
Updated =)
I've heard the song enough times now, it's about time I added some of it to the quotes =)
"Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't, but its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose. My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips, and if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss" - The Real Slim Shady, Eminem
"Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records, well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!" - The Real Slim Shady, Eminem
"I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me" - The Real Slim Shady, Eminem
"there's.........something........on-the-wing!" - William Shatner in a Twilight Zone episode
(anyone seen this episode? it's the one with the gremlin tearing the plane apart.. they put it into the twilight zone movie with John Lithgow as the guy who sees it, but the original one with Shatner is just so much cooler because of the way he talks.. )
-u
hehe yeah, I've seen it, though that line is more memorable to me, because Jim Carrey said it in the second Ace Ventura when they were on a plane hehe (added)
"WTF's Riptide?" -()ver(V)ind
hehe, just remembered that one.
------------------
kwerkey
:Reality sucks, welcome to insanity:
Hmm, the one in the Riptide quotes is "What's Riptide?" -- ()ver(V)ind
Hmm, which is right? I didn't keep my message archive on ICQ when I upgraded.
It's WTF, I'm sure of it
------------------
kwerkey
:Reality sucks, welcome to insanity:
That's how it's going to be added then =)
All anonymous except the last one:
"Much can be achieved with a smile. Admittedly, much more can be achieved with a smile and a big stick."
"Love is a fire. Whether it will warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell."
"A wolf in sheeps clothing needs professional help."
"I don't use my conscience as my guide... it's more of a creative consultant."
"Why is it that people with closed minds always open their mouths?"
"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography." -Paul Rodriguez
------------------
kwerkey :Reality sucks, welcome to insanity:
http://www.kwerkey.net
Updated, there are now 199 quotes =)
"I've got the 200th quote!" - Eye of the Night
Bah, that should not count as a quote.
Why not? It's not like quotes need to be serious...
They'd better not be...
Awe, damn, you got post 175 AND the top of page 6
Heehee...along with the 200th quote...ain't it sweet?
DIE! *stab*
*the knife breaks off*
Heehee...must be my lucky day
Quote #200 added =)
"I hate to drink alone, can I have a sandwich with it?" - Simon, Frasier
"You can't spell dishonorable without honorable" - Homer, The Simpsons
"She sees a certain cuteness to my stupidity, you know, the way people feel about Canada" - Titus
"So... if I had a full bowl full it would be half a bowl full too full... a bowl full?" - Guy on the Cereal Commercial
Meh
------------------
Protoss_King_
added =)
"Your first name is Dick, your new last name is Head.. I guess that makes you-" "Oh my God!" - Harry and Dick, 3rd Rock From the Sun
"If at first you dont succeed, try sucking something else" -Some radio station
"So what if that poroxide doesnt feel good on your arm pits?" -Something that took me about 2 seconds to think of. (guess im gettin slow)
Net
added =)
"There are 3 types of people: those who can count, and those who can't" -Radio guy
"Just remember, 1/7 of your life is spent on a Monday" -Yet again, another radio guy
"You hear, and you forget. You see, and you remember. You do, and you understand." - Ancient Chinese Proverb
"But Bernice, poking and prodding is what a dick does!" - Duckman (Dick as in private detective... but.. ya you get the joke)
"Riiiigh-t" - Dr. Evil
"I fear no enemy, for the Khala is my strength. I fear not death, for our strength is eternal." - Fenix
booya
Striker would know where that chinese thing is from =P
------------------
Protoss_King_
[This message has been edited by ProtossKing (edited 05-26-2000).]
[This message has been edited by ProtossKing (edited 05-26-2000).]
Hmm, I added all of them except the ones with the images... I'd rather not have images in the script =)
it was SUPPOSED to be :) and :(
Ahh, ok =)
They're added too now.
The addition of these quotes shall be blamed on BandWidth:
"I felt this incredible surge of power, like God must feel when he\'s holding a gun."
*pulls pants down* *CENSORED for the good of mankind* - Ravage!
*pokes forum* - me
also I poked this thread.. let it grooow more! yesss! can't let that "this is not a subject" thread win! no, we mustn't, my precious!
-u
Added =)
I have something to add onto the pro/con quote, in bold:
"If 'pro is the opposite of 'con', then what's the opposite of 'Congress'?
Yeah? Then what's the opposite of 'constitution'?"
------------------
kwerkey http://www.kwerkey.net
:Reality sucks, welcome to insanity:
LOL!!!
Prostitution?
------------------
Protoss_King_: Tossy, Masta PK!
lol! added =)
"I'm crushing your head!!" - Kids in the Hall
ahhh, good ol' KITH.
------------------
Protoss_King_: Tossy, Masta PK!
added =)
"=)" - RStefan01
TESTING HTML
wtf was that for? If you're testing something, use the preview button.
AHAHAHAHAHHA! Just saw the world is not enough.
"I've always wanted to have Christmas in Turkey."
"I thought Christmas only 'comes' once a year"
hehe.. I haven't seen it yet.. who said what?
I just remembered these, from one of the best Simpsons episodes I've seen
"Elmo knows where you live!" - Elmo
"Save me, Jebus, save me!" - Homer Simpson
dunno if this has been suggested or not hehe
-u
added =)
Another simpsons quote; this one is fackin hilarious.
"Let's just say it moved me..... TO A BIGGER HOUSE!!!! Oh crap I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet." - Krusty the Klown
------------------
Protoss_King_: Tossy, Masta PK!
(Blizzrep99) "Im gonna hafta flag that CD-Key, it has been duplicated. You need to type out the CD-Key and turn it over to me so I can inspect it"
^That was a lame ass quote i got from some lamer tryin to get my d2 key
"Ahhh Leeches!"
"You're the one writing this drivel."
"Bah! Breaking fluid is for the weak!"
------------------
"Apparently there's a reason they put expiration dates on soda cans."
Those all yours? (Just need to know =))
"Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Preformance." - Jim Lappin (my dad)
"What can go wrong... WILL go wrong!" -- Murphy's law
"Surrender your beer or we will take it by force!" - ???
"Eye for an eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot." -- Exodus 20:21-22
if we were not crazy, we'd all be insane. - Jimmy Buffet
"there is no spoon..." - Neo, 'The Matrix'
"F- the F-ing F-ers before they F-ing F- you over" - Richard Marcinko
"shit happens." - who does'nt know this one?
"still water runs deep -- an empty wagon makes the most noise -- do you comprehend what the word comprehention means?" - old quotes
"the grass is always greener on the other side." - old quote
"waste not, want not." old quote
"11'th Commandment: Thou shalt NOT piss me off." - Ceegen
"i had a good quote, but forgot it..." - Ceegen
"Kill 'em all 'n let God sort it out" - bumper sticker
"yadda yadda yadda..." - Jerry Sienfield
"The masses are the asses." - Poloticians' saying
"In order to find an equal, an Irishman is forced to talk with God" - Steven, 'Braveheart'
"Nobody is perfect. I'm Nobody. Therefore I'm perfect." - INTRAX
"Don't F- with the union." - mobster, from the movie 'Eraser'
there are some other good ones i had but forgot em =P
-- Ceegen
"If you can read this, the bitch fell off!" - Back of a motorbiker's shirt
Hehe got that from some site rich linked me to
Click for full image, folks.
------------------
Protoss_King_: Tossy, Masta PK!
[This message has been edited by Protoss_King_ (edited 06-08-2000).]
ROFL! The motorbiker quote is hilarious! =)
"<-- More naughty parts" - Monthy Python
Allrighty, everything's been added except for Z's quotes, because he never answered my question above.
Oopsies! Forgot about this thread
yep, these are mine
Added =)
"This is CNN" - James Earl Jones
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*Stabs CNN*
"Well if it isn't my good friend (something), with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg!" - Dr. Nick, The Simpsons
I'm sure someone in here remembers what the guy's name was, it rhymes with leg, I remember that.
Hmm, I added Striker's quote. Anyone know the missing part to kwerkey's quote?
I haven't seen that episode for a while but I think it's "Mr. McGregg"
-undertow
Here are a few from Capt. Kirk that's funny if you take it out of context
"Mr. Spock is much stronger than the ordinary human being, aroused his great physical strength could kill, but it's a risk I have to take"- Capt. Kirk
"It's possible we may have hit the wrong entry point"- Capt. Kirk
"I have to take it back, Inside myself I can't survive without him. I don't want to take him back, he's like an animal, a thoughtless brutal animal"- Capt. Kirk
"*****WASTED SPACE*****" - -?-
"Sometimes I think that boring ass teacher in my school is just God's way of teaching me geography." - Protoss_King_
"Beware deamons, and fowel beasts!" - Barbarian
And we're up to date now. I corrected the spelling in Stiker's quote =p
I also added a quote number listing to the showquotes script =)
"I 'vill break you!" - Rocky
I think he said that, anyway
------------------
kwerkey http://www.kwerkey.net
:I'm losing my mind and NOBODY CARES!:
Rocky said "'vill"? hehe
"Make something idiot-proof and they'll make better idiots"
And the rest are bumberstickers =)
Horn broken. Watch for finger.
Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
All generalizations are false.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
I brake for no apparent reason.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
I love cats...they taste just like chicken.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons.
Born free...Taxed to death.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Rehab is for quitters.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt--in case heaven is like the IRS..
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
No radio - Already stolen.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
Tell me to 'stuff it' - I'm a taxidermist.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
i souport publik edekashun.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Keep honking...I'm reloading.
Caution: I drive like you do.
[This message has been edited by kwerkey (edited 07-02-2000).]
Hmm, considering that it's four in the morning, I think those'll have to wait until another time =)
"If you can read this, you're too close to your monitor"
I can read it and I'm not too close =P
Font sizes only get as small as -2, no matter what, and I'm on 1024x768, though I can still read it at 1280x1024 (and I'm about 3 feet from the monitor).
------------------
kwerkey http://www.kwerkey.net
:I'm losing my mind and NOBODY CARES!:
It's supposed to be readable, otherwise, what's the point, hehe. Here's three other quotes I can think of:
"I know all -- I am a disembodied mystical voice"
"By reading this binding quote, you hereby agree to pay the webmaster $1,000,000"
"That shade of lipstick makes your mouth look like a gateway to pleasure"
This one's a joke... don't take it seriously.
"If people aren't so stupid, I wouldn't be so Rich"
"Your end is Near, Heathen! I can smell it"
All from anonymousesesesss...es..
"The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity"
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you"
"Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people is mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, you're it."
"A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn"
"Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn"
"TJ's Law: You can't fall off the floor"
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society"
Urgh.. soo many quotes. I could add them now.. and help stop them from piling up more and leaving more work for some future time, but that would take away from my Diablo II addiciton.. so I think I'll let the quotes pile up hehehe
Hehe, I have a law?
hehe =)
What's your middle name?
Out of boredom, I got the quote script up to date for ya'. But I forgot if I should upload it ASCII or Binary, so I did both
Binary
ASCII
hehe.. cool, thanks =)
Everything looks right, except this line was wrong:
quote = new StringArray(337)
See the 337? You had 336 there. That number is the total number of quotes, and in the script it uses 0 as a quote number also hehe =)
Oh, and it doesn't matter if it's ASCII or Binary, it doesn't make a difference for JavaScript.
Damn, I'm not very good at picking out the apostrophes. After fixing my 5,000 errors in the script, here it is again.
Binary
More bumper sticker fun:
"If you don't like my driving, get off the sidewalk"
"Watch my ass, not hers"
"I drive this way just to piss you off"
what the hell are you guys smoking you crack hippies your poems are a joke if you where in diablo 2 he would kick your ass out of his soil take your soul and put on a corner and sell for some bigger tits and that al i got to say so if you dont like then just say whats up what s up whatsup with that shit
-quote Lord raven never more and incase any of you damm mother fuckerraven pyschoes dont like my message the just say whats up whats up whats up-
{I screwed all your moms} what a work out
[This message has been edited by Striker (edited 07-16-2000).]
?
Okay to make things as simple as possible that message was of my friends. I gave him his own account after learning he had posted it. I thought is was funny because of how stupid it was. Maybe it will make for a Fucking Stupid Quote (FSQ) of the forum.
(The Real Striker)
-------------------
Ps. I gave him his own account. Ask BandWidth if you like. I check the ICQ history and my friend is really stupid.
It's true. Durin isn't capable of such speach. This guy was harassing me on ICQ. He's completely nuts!
That's nice, but why's it on this thread?
"I tend to believe that playing Starcraft is a lot better for a ten year old's mental development than doing repetitive schoolwork. One teaches you to think strategically and react quickly, the other teaches you to stare blindly and do the same thing over and over again in a mind numbing fashion." --Tridus
I liked that
added
"These walls are funny. First your hate them, then you get use to them. Enough time passes you get to depend on them."
- Shawshank Redemption
=)
Here's a good Simpsons quote that I don't think is in the quote bank yet (it's a fitting one too):
"Oh Marge, anybody can miss Canada, all tucked away down there." - Homer
I noticed the "lottery" quote, and it reminded me of something my Critical Thinking professor always said:
"The lottery is a tax on stupid people"
heeh
"Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home" --Martha Stewart's Tips for Rednecks
"Would the real Slim Shady Please Shut Up" Christina Aguilera
did she accually say that?
No, But she should have
"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things." - Dan Quayle
-undertow
"You have the power, you can make ALL your dreams come true" -Richard Simmons
updated =)
"It looks good on you" -Big Red commercial guy
"Chaos! Panic! Disaster! (My work here is done)"
<BEER>Happiness</BEER>
Come on, doesn't anyone else like this thread?
Apparently not, which is too bad. Generally I don't remember about quotes posted on other threads, and they don't make it into the script.
Oh, okay, I thought you said you were going to lock it or something.
*wipes the sweat from his brow*
"Man Who stand on toilet high on POT" - Everybody
------------------
Veteran
--------
[e-mail]Twizler@pot.com[/e-mail]
Fix yer sig
Why has nobody suggested this hilarious famous quote?
"I took the initiative to invent the internet." -- Al Gore
GAHAHAHAHA!!!
"People Don't want Handouts! They want Handjobs" Former Presidential Candidate
(Didn't realize what he was saying LoL)
"Self Improvement is Masturbation" Tyler Durdon (Fight Club)
"Come in me with the car" My Girlfriend
(Meant to say Come with me in the car)
Hmm..
"Any body can hork a loggie but it takes a REAL man to swalow it!" - My Father
Veteran
ABT
"Never discuss Religion, Politics, or Toast" - Red Dwarf, Better Than Life
Are qoutes still being added?
If so
"Those who throw dirt lose ground" Some Poster
Come on, don't you people like random quotes?
Updated.
"Cuz if I ever stuck it to anybody in showbiz it'd be Jennifer Lopez, Puffy you know this. I don't care if this chick was my own mother, I'd still fuck her with no rubber and cum inside her, and have a no son and a brother at the same time, and just say that it ain't mine" -Eminem
"New Kids on the block suck a lotta dick, boy girl groups make me sick, and I can't wait till I catch all you faggots in public. I'm a love it" -Eminem
Normally I think Eminem is funny, but those quotes were.. kinda dumb? I dunno. I don't feel like adding them. I should probably skim through the file and take some other ones out too, cause I know there's others in there that aren't that great either.
I just wonder where the hell you people get these qoutes.
"Diablo II fans, it's time to stop playing with yourself" --Daily Radar
(a preface to their multiplayer strategy section)
*looks at the War Room*
that isn't going to happen very soon!
"Maybe Mario wouldn't constantly be fighting against bloodthirsty turtles and evil oversized plants if he'd just lay off the 'magic mushrooms' for a while..." -Anonymous
"You must put the staff into the orifice" Deckard Cain,
"Moo" - cow
"See ya later, fornicator"
Updated.
*bumps this thread up to the top so that he can tweak the latest posts display on the main page using an abnormally large emote*
Durin's list of quotes. Since people want to keep this thread I'll post.
"I just wanted to let you know I'm cRaZy" - cRaZy MoRoN
Hehe that ones a classic
and also
"Durin pulls out a rocket launcher" - Durin
Ixnay on the ullshitbay.
-Kony
Incase of choking, use the Hind-Lick Maneouvre
I'm assuming that Rich bumped up the post/page ratio, and that's why there's 3 less pages than last time.
"I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass" --Bumpersticker (one that's meant to be put on a binder and such, rather than a car)
Saw that one at school =)
Updated.
And yeah, I changed it from 35 to 50 per page. There's a thread somewhere about it.
{I have nothing better to do today }
"You came here with Meshif? That old 'tour-guide to the stuipid'!
I'm surprized you made it here in one peice"
-Alkor, Wisest NPC in DII
hehe, that's in the game? lol
*added*
"I hope you don't object to my Badgering the Witless"
Another quote from Alkor.
"Ravage: The hottest woman on the net!" -Ravage.com
*makes quote post 300 and page 7*
"The real problem was Tridus. He refused to get a job, he left his crap all over the place, and worst of all, at one point, he WET HIS PANTS AND THEN PASSED OUT IN THE HALLWAY!" --SM_007
You might want to add in that it was a game of The Sims, so newbies don't see that and ask him about his personal grooming. But it'd be funnier without =)
[This message has been edited by kwerkey (edited 09-25-2000).]
DON'T mention that it was a part of The Sims!
It'll be a hilarious inside joke. :)
------------------
SM_007
Riptide Gaming
Save the rainforest! Wipe your ass with a woodpecker!
"Diablo 2 System requirements: Pentium 233, 32 MB RAM. Recommended Athlon 750, 256 MB RAM" - Crazieman
Found on PlanetTribes.com:
"High End System: 1000 MHz CPU and GeForce 2 GTS/Voodoo 5"
For those that don't get it, of course that's the high end system, that's pretty much the best setup you can buy right now.
Hey, I come here a lot, but I usually just read and laugh at some of the more humorous things, anyway, I have a few quotes that I said when with friends, and were very funny when they happened.
"Punching people is not having sex."
"Does your mama drive a semi?"
Someone asked me if I knew what a bossom was and I replied:
"I don't GO to Dairy Queen."
------------------
-llamaman
Riiiiiight.......
"Not everyone turns out like their parents. I mean, my parents were honest, hard-working people" -Fry, Futurama
"Curses, foiled like a common binomial!"
Please use that, it is my personal quote, it would make me oh so happy.
"Can I am love to your toothpick?" - Veteran on Drugs
quote:
Originally posted by Brawnfire:
"Curses, foiled like a common binomial!"
Please use that, it is my personal quote, it would make me oh so happy.
lol!
*slaps Brawnfire for making a groaner*
*is slapped, and likes it*
*doesn't want to know*
Then don't ask.
Returning to the REAL topic.
"Different strokes for different folks" - Durin's Math Teacher
So many ways that can be taken..
Turn your teacher in for sexual harassment, or someone will get hurt.
"What's wrong with this country? Can't a man walk down the street without being offered a job?" -Smithers, The Simpsons
"New & Improved... Soon" *giggle*
LOL, I remember that.
"Notice: Your mouse has been moved. Windows will now restart so this change can take effect." -Darlok (A slashdotter)
"I'd change the world but God won't give me the source code" -Anonymous
in the original spirit of this thing;
"let the meat CHEESE!"
Rrrrriiiiiight....that's the stuff.
"Come wash my back!" -Jackass
That's only funny if you see it, he's naked in a public shower holding his wee-wee.
*looks at his last post as if it's turned into a dancing snow leopard in a tutu*
uh...lets...try that...again...
"let them eat CHEESE!"
i wonder how that happened before...aw well, i'm just dumb, i guess.
I like the source code one :)
New quotes script, it appears to work fine.
I dunno, so far it seems to be acting the same :P
Never mind, it be workin' now :)
I think the barbarian's quote is wrong.
Shouldn't it be "Beware foul demons and beasts!"
Fixed. That was Durin's quote, possibly even from this thread. Originally "foul" was spelled "fowl" .. gotta watch out for those chicken demons.
Hey you're right, it is working.
*steals this quote script*
"die", *thrusts blade into someones chest* "hes dead"
- someone probably said it..........
"There was no penetration" Buffy
"Ormus is always talking in Riddles, I think he's just trying to hide the fact he has nothing intelligent to say" Alkor the Alchemist.
"Shave yourself!" Izual
There was no penetration, eh?
"I didn't do her! I swear!"
"Define 'is'" -Bill Clinton
I think he said something along that line, maybe it was "do", or some other small word.
I'm 90% sure that quote is:
"that depends on what your definition of the word 'is' is"
-ut
Ahh, that's the one.
"Backstreet Boys? BACKSTREET Boys?! Now why would you wanna be a Backstreet Boy? OOO! I'm scared of them! Who lives on the front street, Big Bird?" -Chris Rock, VMA 99
"My dad and I wear the same pants" "I invented pants!" -Political Elephant and Donkey, Snickers commercial
"Boy, I'm gonna make you squeel like a pig" Some line in Deliverance
"That is one brave purple monster...uh, lady" -Johnny Gomez, Celebrity Deathmatch
Some The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy quotes =)
"He reached out and pressed an invitingly large red button on a nearby panel. The panel lit up with the words Please do not press this button again. He shook himself."
"'This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. 'I never could get the hang of Thursdays.'"
"Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now."
"A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have."
"Don't Panic"
"Forty-two"
"Life, the Universe, and Everything"
"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime undoubtedly so."
"Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea."
The rest is one quote.
"If you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language... Now it is such a bizarrely improbably coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance... a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.
'I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, 'for proof denies faith, and wit